Every so often I take a look through the camera on my phone and just kind of look through the pictures and remember the memories associated with them. Sometimes they are hilarious, sometimes they are not, but generally they remind me of all the good times I have had. Like a twenty-first century scrapbook. This time I decided to share them with you as I find them humorous. Remember, I am a theater major and we are weird. Proceed with caution and maybe if you make it to the end there will be a surprise for you, reader.
1. The first great find, "Alien's Exist" poster.
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| We don't know why our school pays for this, but it does. |
Now if you look at the picture above, you'll notice I scribbled my fears across the picture. If you don't know me you don't know that I have a crippling fear of aliens. No, I am not kidding, and please keep your judgements to yourself. The number one question I am asked when people realize I am afraid of aliens is "Why?" and my answer is simply "I don't know." Is it because I watched Independence Day at too young of an age? Is it because I worry about things watching me and me not knowing? Or is it because I have an irrational fear of being probed? Again, I don't know. All I know is that when I saw this poster hanging in the halls of UVU I had to take a picture and promptly find a new pair of pants.
2. Ben's "Testicle Pants"
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| What can I say, Ben is a MAN. |
Now, I know I can be crude, and I know theater is an evolutionary art, but when Ben put on these flesh colored pants for our production of Elephant's Graveyard I wondered if our concept had changed from "early nineteenth century circus" to "human anatomy." I know I am not alone because as soon as I said it out loud, not only did Ben agree his pants were overcompensating for something, so did the COSTUME DESIGNERS. In all seriousness they were going for those riding pants that ringleaders are known for and just overshot how big the ... ahem ... "bulges" ... should be. Well, I think that is enough innuendo for one picture, on to the next!
3. Bloody Matt
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| Probably not the most bloody person on the strip. |
This last Halloween I did something I have always wanted to do, I took an epic Vegas Trip. A group from work decided it would be fun to go over Halloween week. While we were there we made many memories and have many laughs from the trips. My friend Matt decided he wanted to dress up as Ryan Gosling's character from Drive. And most importantly of all I got to help him with the fake blood. Not too bad looking if I don't say so myself. Watching people's faces as he walked through the casino was great, they weren't sure if it was the booze or the lights from the slots, but they knew something wasn't right.
4. MURDEROUS DAN!!!
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| I hear if you say the word "Danderson" in the dark in front of a mirror he will show up behind you when you turn on the lights... |
Once upon a time I took Acting Styles at UVU with Danderson. Now, the point of the course is how acting changed over time. This unit was "commedia dell'arte" which is basically ole timey comedy. Lot's of physical gags came from this time period, like schemes to steal old men's money, or scared army captain, or even the pie in the face. Which is what happened here. The assignment was to perform these in front of another class. It was fun and joyful... which is the complete opposite of what this picture is saying. This picture is saying "I will kill you and your teenage friends in the night." To me that does not look like whipped cream, but rather a skin condition that caused Dan to go crazy and start slaying unsuspecting campers up Provo Canyon as a form of revenge.
5. Dramaturges claim Darth Vader!
Luke... *wheeze*... my theatrical research is correct... *wheeze*... I am your father.
Now, if you don't know what is a dramaturge is you obviously aren't in theater. You are also incredibly lucky because in my experience there are very few dramaturges I enjoy to be around. Very Few. You see, Dramaturges are (at their own admission) the NERDS of theater, and that is saying something. They love to research and fact check and research and oh, did I say research. I am of the personal belief that any actor, director, or whatever worth their salt will do their OWN research and therefore render the dramaturge useless. (Again, this is just my opinion so please do not tar and feather me) Nevertheless, the SAY they have other duties and sit in my rehearsals and continually pipe up to correct my actors and my director and me and whoever else and I take it politely because my mother raised me right and... I am getting off track here. Anyway, at UVU we share a lot of the same spaces. This particular classroom is booked pretty much all day so I am not exactly sure who claimed Darth Vader was a nerdy researcher with a fluid job description, but the thought is humorous nonetheless.
6. BONUS VIDEO!!!
Because I have an iPhone, I have the ability to keep videos of use. Naturally like any first world citizen would I have held on to this one for a while waiting to use it to my advantage. This video will star my friend's Cooper and Zoe (they give EXCELLENT performances if I don't say so myself.) The premise of this film is fairly simple. Cooper was tired after our homework party and needed a back massage, the always helpful Zoe happily obliged. The rest is comedic GOLD. If any of you have taken a movement, dance or stretching class with Cooper you know what you are in for. If you haven't I promise this is NOT porn.
And with that, we are done for this round of Camera Phone Cleaning... I'll keep a lookout for more priceless shots!
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